HEALTHY MARRIAGES ARE BUILT

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MEETING AGENDA

  1. OPENING PRAYER – Ask one person to open the meeting in prayer.
  2. GROWTH QUESTIONS – Ask everyone the Growth Questions.
  3. ATTENDANCE – Take attendance through the DG Attendance System.
  4. TODAY’S LESSON – Go over this week’s DG lesson.
  5. GIVING – Encourage everyone to give on the App.
  6. CLOSING PRAYER – Ask for prayer requests and pray.

GROWTH QUESTION #1

Who would like to share a highlight, praise report, or testimony from this week?

GROWTH QUESTION #2

What did you learn from this week’s sermon?

GROWTH QUESTION #3

What was your most important accomplishment this week?


INTRODUCTION

  • Every married person wants a healthy, happy, successful marriage, but healthy marriages do not happen by accident. The habits we develop will eventually determine the kind of marriage we have.
  • The goal of the 21-Day Marriage Challenge is to break the habits that create unhealthy marriages and begin developing the habits that create healthy marriages.
  • Some destructive marriage habits include:
    • Giving the silent treatment
    • Keeping score of past mistakes
    • Dishonesty and secrecy
    • Bringing other people into marital conflicts
    • Using words like “you always” and “you never” during disagreements
  • The good news is that we do not have to remain stuck in unhealthy patterns. God can change the way we think, the way we act, and the way we treat our spouse.

INTERACTIVE QUESTION

What is one habit that can make a marriage stronger?

TRUTH #1

CHANGE STARTS WITH ME!


Ephesians 4:22–23 (CEV) — “You were told that your foolish desires will destroy you and that you must give up your old way of life with all its bad habits. Let the Spirit change your way of thinking.”

  • One of the easiest things to do in marriage is identify what our spouse needs to change.
  • But real transformation begins when our prayer changes from: “Lord, change them” to “Lord, change me.”
  • There are two steps to breaking a bad habit:

Step #1 - Acknowledge the unhealthy habit with a willingness to give it up.

Step #2 - Allow God to help us change.

Proverbs 26:11 (NLT) - “As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness.”

  • We cannot keep repeating the same patterns and expect our marriage to produce different results. We have to change!
  • Change requires honesty about our own behavior.
  • Change requires humility when someone points something out.
  • Change requires a change in our thinking, not just our circumstances.
  • Change requires the power of the Holy Spirit, not just willpower.
  • A better marriage begins with becoming a better person.

INTERACTIVE QUESTION

What is one habit or attitude in yourself that you believe God wants to change?

TRUTH #2

A HEALTHY MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP TAKES WORK!

Proverbs 13:4 (GNT) — “No matter how much a lazy person may want something, he will never get it. A hard worker will get everything he wants.”

  • Wanting a great marriage is not the same as building a great marriage.
  • Minimal effort produces minimal results.
  • A marriage requires intentional, persistent effort.
  • Marriage takes work when:
    • Communication is difficult.
    • You are tired.
    • You disagree.
    • Feelings have been hurt.
    • You have already apologized before.
    • Your spouse is not responding the way you hoped.
  • Many people underestimate how much effort a successful marriage will require.
  • “Never decrease the target, increase the effort.” - Pastor Marco Garcia
  • Do not lower the standard because marriage becomes difficult. Increase the intentionality.
    • Communicate more.
    • Be more patient.
    • Pray more.
    • Forgive more.
    • Invest more.
    • Choose to be more understanding.

  • 2 Corinthians 9:6 (GNT) - “The person who plants few seeds will have a small crop; the one who plants many seeds will have a large crop.”

    • We cannot sow only a little into our marriage and expect to reap a lot from it.

    INTERACTIVE QUESTION

    What is one area of your marriage/relationships where greater effort could produce greater results?

    tRUTH #3

    GOD’S PRINCIPLES CREATE HEALTHY MARRIAGES/RELATIONSHIPS!

    1 John 5:3 (AMP) — “For the true love of God is this: that we habitually keep His commandments and remain focused on His precepts.”

    • God created marriage, and He has given us principles (ground rules) that teach us how marriage is supposed to work.
    • During this Marriage Challenge, there are four foundational ground rules we are going to commit to:

    1. SHOW UP

    • Commit to the process.
    • The amount we invest will affect what we receive.
    • Attend the sessions, participate, listen, and give God an opportunity to work in you.

    2. APPLY WHAT YOU LEARN

    • Information alone will not change a marriage.
    • When God shows us something, we should put it into practice immediately.
    • Healthy marriages are built when we apply biblical truth until it becomes a habit.

    3. FIGHT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE

    • For these 21 days, refuse to use divorce or separation as a threat during conflict.
    • Jesus taught that divorce was connected to hardness of heart.
    • Matthew 19:8 (NKJV) - “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.”
    • Stop rehearsing your exit strategy, and give your energy to reconciliation, healing, and rebuilding instead.

    4. FORGIVE

    • No marriage can remain healthy without forgiveness.
    • Colossians 3:13 (NLT) - “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”
    • Forgiveness is not pretending something did not hurt. It is choosing not to keep using the offense against your spouse.
    • Proverbs 17:9 (NLT) - “Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.”
    • Forgiveness gives love room to grow. Dwelling on offenses gives bitterness room to grow.

    INTERACTIVE QUESTION

    Which of these four ground rules would make the greatest difference in your marriage/relationships right now: showing up, applying what you learn, fighting for your marriage, or forgiving? Why?

    CLOSING QUESTION

    What’s one thing you learned today that you can apply this week?

    GIVING

    Giving God our best unleashes His abundant provision, filling our lives with blessings that overflow and reflect His generosity.

    Proverbs 3:9-10 (NLT)
    9 Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of everything you produce. 10 Then he will fill your barns with grain, and your vats will overflow with good wine.

    Encourage everyone to give their tithes and offerings.

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    PRAY

    QUESTION #1

    Who are you praying for to be saved?

    QUESTION #2

    Who can you invite to the next meeting?

    QUESTION #3

    What are your prayer requests?