THE HABIT OF COMMUNICATING WELL

Click here for PDF version

MEETING AGENDA

  1. OPENING PRAYER – Ask one person to open the meeting in prayer.
  2. GROWTH QUESTIONS – Ask everyone the Growth Questions.
  3. ATTENDANCE – Take attendance through the DG Attendance System.
  4. TODAY’S LESSON – Go over this week’s DG lesson.
  5. GIVING – Encourage everyone to give on the App.
  6. CLOSING PRAYER – Ask for prayer requests and pray.

GROWTH QUESTION #1

Who would like to share a highlight, praise report, or testimony from this week?

GROWTH QUESTION #2

What did you learn from this week’s sermon?

GROWTH QUESTION #3

What was your most important accomplishment this week?


INTRODUCTION

  • Communication is the way we share our thoughts, information, and feelings and connect with other people.

  • Healthy relationships require healthy communication.

  • We cannot continually speak hurtful, negative, or destructive words and expect to have healthy relationships.

  • When we allow God to change our hearts, words, and communication, our relationships can change too.

1 Peter 3:10 (ICB) — “A person must do these things to enjoy life and have many, happy days. He must not say evil things. He must not tell lies.”

INTERACTIVE QUESTION

What are some things that make communication easier between two people?

TRUTH #1

GOOD COMMUNICATORS LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND.

James 1:19 (AMP) - “Understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Let everyone be quick to hear [be a careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak [a speaker of carefully chosen words and], slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving];”

  • We cannot become effective communicators without becoming good listeners.
  • Listening is more than being quiet while someone else talks. We should listen with the goal of understanding what they are thinking and feeling.
  • Do not spend the entire conversation preparing your response while the other person is still talking.
  • Do not interrupt someone before they have finished expressing themselves.
  • Before responding, make sure you actually understand what the other person communicated.
  • Proverbs 18:2 (NLT) — “Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.”
  • Proverbs 18:13 (NLT) — “Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.”
  • PRACTICAL HABIT: After someone shares something important, try saying: “Let me make sure I understand what you are saying…” Then summarize what you heard before giving your response.

INTERACTIVE QUESTION

How can you tell when someone is really listening to you?

TRUTH #2

GOOD COMMUNICATORS USE WORDS THAT BUILD PEOPLE UP.

Ephesians 4:29 (AMP) — “Do not let unwholesome [foul, profane, worthless, vulgar] words ever come out of your mouth, but only such speech as is good for building up others, according to the need and the occasion, so that it will be a blessing to those who hear [you speak].”

  • God wants our words to build and bless, not tear people down.
  • Encouragement, appreciation, affection, respect, and affirmation make healthy relationships stronger.
  • Avoid fault-finding, name-calling, blaming, insults, sarcasm, exaggeration, and statements like “You always…” or “You never…”
  • Before speaking—especially when frustrated—stop long enough to think and pray.
  • Thoughtless communication can damage marriages, families, friendships, ministries, workplaces, and every other relationship.
  • Titus 3:2 (TLB) — “They must not speak evil of anyone, nor quarrel, but be gentle and truly courteous to all.”
  • Proverbs 13:3 (AMP) — “The one who guards his mouth, thinking before he speaks, protects his life…”
  • PRACTICAL HABIT: Before responding in a difficult conversation, pause for a few seconds and ask, “Will what I am about to say build this person up or tear them down?”

INTERACTIVE QUESTION

What are some simple ways we can use our words to build people up every day?

tRUTH #3

GOOD COMMUNICATORS CONTROL THEIR EMOTIONS.

Proverbs 29:11 (NLT) — “Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.”

  • Venting anger is not effective communication. Anger usually produces more anger.
  • We do not have to allow another person's attitude to determine our attitude.
  • A gentle response can completely change the direction of a difficult conversation.
  • Not every irritation, offense, or mistake needs to become a confrontation.
  • Sometimes wisdom means choosing to overlook an offense and move forward.
  • Proverbs 15:1 (ERV) — “A gentle answer makes anger disappear, but a rough answer makes it grow.”
  • ANGER + ANGER = GREATER ANGER
  • ANGER + GENTLENESS = ANGER DECREASES
  • Proverbs 19:11 (NLT) — “Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.”
  • PRACTICAL HABIT: When a conversation becomes emotional, lower your voice, slow down your response, and intentionally answer with gentleness.

INTERACTIVE QUESTION

How can one calm response change the direction of a conversation?

APPLICATION

  • Healthy communication does not happen accidentally. It is a skill we practice until it becomes a habit.
This week:
  1. LISTEN to understand before responding.
  2. SPEAK words that build and bless.
  3. CONTROL your emotions and respond with gentleness.
  • We cannot develop these habits through willpower alone. We need the Holy Spirit to produce the character of Jesus in us.
  • Galatians 5:22–23 (AMP) — “But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

CLOSING QUESTION

Which of these three communication habits—listening, speaking, or emotional self-control—does God want you to work on most this week? What will you do differently?

GIVING

Giving God our best unleashes His abundant provision, filling our lives with blessings that overflow and reflect His generosity.

Proverbs 3:9-10 (NLT)
9 Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of everything you produce. 10 Then he will fill your barns with grain, and your vats will overflow with good wine.

Encourage everyone to give their tithes and offerings.

click here to give

PRAY

QUESTION #1

Who are you praying for to be saved?

QUESTION #2

Who can you invite to the next meeting?

QUESTION #3

What are your prayer requests?